School is back... Officially... Lessons started, homework is given... Im starting to get the stress. I wish i could be like a little brown sparrow... unknown, flying free... Without any stress from anywhere, anyone, anytime. But, do these sort of wishes come true? no. who would have so much time to grant wishes of anyone who makes a wish? even granting everyone's wishes is stress... so who would care?

on a happier note, i have an ATM card. though its not exactly mine, just because im not 16 yet. and allowed to spend $200 a day [which is apparently way more than enough]

talked to a primary school classmate recently... she found something different about me... does secondary school really change your WHOLE life? till, even your own primary school friends, cant recognise you, cant recognise your tone, or language used... have i seriously changed that much? she said apparently you dont smile as much as you did... maybe i dont smile enough now, because there's nothing to smile about. something's wrong with me... serious. im having mood swings... one minute im hyper, and the next, im totally depressed. nothing anyone says can change me... unless its influence... im getting totally influenced by the people around me... should i be influenced by them in the first place? some people dont like influencing others, but they still do... and there's nothing they can do about it... and i cant stand these feelings inside of me... this blog. and everything thats on it is fake... its not my true self... im not the normal, average happy-go-lucky person that i seem to be... im wearing a mask. a mask that shields the people around be from being hurt... a mask that shields what people say about me from reaching me... a mask that hides my true self, that shows a happy person on the outside, and yet, deep within... my life has a use, im aware of that. but sometimes it seems like its useless, its pointless to go on... im living for that use... im looking forward to learning that use... but im getting discouraged... someone help me please.

Hi everyone, Happy New Year!!! hope you all had a good year in 2005, and today is the very first day of 2006... Hopefully, this year will be better than last year... Hopefully... may you all be able to overcome the challenges of the new year!!! I would like to wish the following people [just for the fun of it] a very happy new year

Best Friends:
Sarah
Dionne
Marianne

Classmates:
Atifa
Rachel Chai
Weiling
Persis
HuiRou
Dhwani
Dione
Elli
Farzean
Grace
Hsiao Chin
Ida
Joanna
Hui Xin
Laura
Si Hui
Yi Hui
Carina
Hoon Suan
Carol
Fatimah [did i spell that correctly?]
Hannah
Syafiqah
Afifa
Nuzul
Yong Xian
Rachel Tan
Salimah
Shahirah
Nurul
Hwee Ting
Clarisa
Amelia

Band Friends:
Joy
Shi Ying
Claire
Sook Yee
Charis
Yan Yao
Lian Ping
Victoria
the rest i cant exactly recall at the moment.. heehee... maybe ill add them on later...

Sectional Seniors:
Abigail
ShiLin
Gladys
Jocelyn

Other Friends:
Matthew
ZiYin
ZiYue
Benjamin
Hiei909[dont know your name]
killerbyte00[dont know your name]
killakiwi1[dont know your name]
and a variety of other people

Primary School Friends:[dont worry, i didnt forget you]
People of 6 Charity 2004:[or at least those i can remember?!?]
Abigail
Amanda
Aloysia
Si Hui
Si Ling
Yi Zhi
Rachel Tang
Rachel Teo
KaiYing
Chloe
Karmen
Cheryl
Elenna
Ethel
ShuYi
Jessica
HuiWen
and a variety of other people, which i apparently cease to remember at the moment [why cant my memory be any better?]

people of 5 Diligence 2003:
JunTian
YingRu
Rachel Foo
JiaLing
Eda
Dora
YuXiu
Camy
ShuFeng
Tania
and another variety of people... which i still cant recall, and of course those i never wished to mention...[my memory... why do you bring back that name...and not those i want to remember?]

Church Friends:
Dorcas
Lydia
Rachel
Hannah
Sarah
Rebekah
Chloe
Chloe's little sister [not born yet... heehee]
Mabel
and those i seemingly cant remember though i like just saw them how many hours ago...

and of course... my family:
Mummy
Papa
Jayne
Davy
Joycelyn
Daniel

and pets:
Zippy
Hamthree

and the dead pets:
17 dead fish, flushed down the toilet in Jurong
Hamsterina, buried at that tree downstairs
Lucky, buried at that same tree downstairs
cant see why im wishing them happy new year... they're dead...

and of course... my Father in heaven... Thank you so much for giving us another year full of blessings...

i guess that's my list for now... probably will add more names on later... when my memory finally lets me remember more people... and i hope you all have a very blessed new year!!!